Effective Communication quest

By Caven Masuku Communication is a process of giving and taking messages between or among the individuals in order to reach a mutual understanding. On the other hand, communication can be defined as a process where “A” sends information to “B” upon which it has an impact. We communicate all the time to create a common understanding. At times we communicate to maintain “emphatic communion”, that is social relationship. For instance someone can start by saying; “oh it is hot today and am feeling weak”. If the next person respond maybe by saying; “Me too am feeling weak because of this unfriendly weather”, that’s the beginning of it. Here you can agree with me that communication would have been used to open up the channels. Like art, words should be used to entice, to invite and to comfort the second person. At time people do not communicate the way they intended because of lack of communication quests and skills. You can cause an individual to do what you want through the word of mouth. I can be loved, hate, get sympathy, remembered and respected through the verbal message. Anyone who wishes to be an active and competent communicator should be an active listener, sensitive, be prepared, honest and perspicacity. Effective communicators put emphasis on the necessity of being prepared. Preparation in communication includes properly researching, organizing and practicing the presentation of information in advance. People should learn to give themselves time to gather as much information in order to deliver effectively. Reading extensively and searching for the melodious and effective diction which will not be boredom and offend people is most important. Structuring messages provides a couple of benefits to the communicator. First, it helps the communicator ensure they have not forgotten or misplaced any information, aiding in the development of a robust message. Second, the more prepared a communicator is, the more credible they appear, and the more likely the recipients of their message are to accept the information. There are some individuals who are learned, but who could not communicate effectively. So communication is a talent which should be blended with voracious reading. The world today is more connected than it ever has been. This has created more and more opportunities for people from various walks of life to interact on a regular basis. However, as Hosftede, a leading researcher in intercultural communication, explains, different cultures view the importance of things like time, individualism and assertiveness very differently. Time is precious and is important hence in communication need not to be wasted. Use simple words with less confusion especially in meaning making. Effective communicators take these differences into account, which helps to prevent unnecessary offenses and conflict. Effective communicators understand the importance of honesty. Open, honest communications facilitate trust and lead to more productive conversation. On the other hand, dishonest communication can lead to confusion, frustration and a large amount of conflict. Effective communicators do their best to be as honest and open as possible when they engage with other individuals. People should learn to be as pellucid as the manner as it demands. Try not to rush and misguide people with your speech, but rather move with them and understand their concern through your words. Individuals should note the difference between listening and hearing. The former is more important than the latter. The University of Missouri found that over 80 percent of our waking hours are spent communicating, and 45 percent of that time, we are listening. Most people aren't very good listeners. They espouse bad or passive listening habits such as false listening, allowing their environments to distract them, or defensively coming up with arguments against the message instead of actually processing it. Effective communicators use active listening habits, including making a mental summary of the points presented, and paraphrasing the information after it is presented to ensure they understand what has been said. You can stop the speaker and find out whether what he intend to communicate with you correspond well with your understanding. Communication expert John Borg found that 93 percent of communication is based on nonverbal behaviours. This means that the way you present a message is likely more important than what the message is when it comes to determining whether or not it will be accepted by the listener. Nonverbal behaviours may include facial expressions, posture, gestures, eye contact and vocal variations. Effective communicators will use nonverbal behaviours to compliment, and not detract from, their message. For example, crossing your arms and avoiding eye contact makes you look defensive and untrustworthy, while putting your hands on your hips and speaking in a high pitched voice makes you seem aggressive. Using selective, open palmed gestures, smiling and maintaining consistent eye contact can make you seem confident and honest. Colours of our cloth also add to the message we decipher to the listeners. Those intending to be in the profession of Public relation, Communications, Marketing, Advertising and Politics should master the art of communication well in order not to misguide their followers. Communication is an art that everyone should master in life. Most people I have been communicating with ended up asking for more than I intended not because I am good , but just because I know what to say, how to say it and when to say it. Oh! , timing again is more important in communication. You need to disseminate the right message at the right time to the right people. Please for any comments you are welcome and I promise to take your suggestion and comments serious. I hope this will find you all well.

Communication through colours

At time people communicate through colours knowingly or unknowingly. It is important to find out the meaning of certain colours as part of non verbal communication. Colours have been an integral part of our lives for a very long time and so perhaps we are not aware of the profound impact that colours can have on our emotions and our psyche. Across the world various cultures have different meanings associated with these colours and that in turn has shaped our traditions and practices in many ways. In this modern time what we call culture is diluted because of the global community that we are involved in. In fact researchers and psychologists have also tried to understand the impact that colours can have on our life and our emotions so that these can perhaps be used as a way of therapy and enhancing the well being among people. Over a period of time humans have been able to identify the different colours and their meanings. The colour Black Black has always been regarded as a powerful colour and therefore has been associated with authority and power. This could be the reason why all executives wear black suites it is because of the powers they engross. In fact fashion experts often advise professionals to wear black since it is inordinately stylish and has a timeless elegance. Black however also signifies mystery and therefore has its association with the darker forces or negative forces and the unknown. A seemingly contrasting aspect of this colour is that it also symbolizes submission in many ways and perhaps that is why it is worn by priests as a symbol of their complete submission towards God. People who wear black also carry an air of aloofness around them and therefore this colour may also mean sophistication and an overpowering attitude. Black also evokes emotions of mystery and emptiness. Black also has a deep relationship with grief and loss. The colour black is important for professionals and reflect how much power an individual amasses. Black is authoritative and powerful; because black can evoke strong emotions too much can be overwhelming. A classic colour for clothing possibly because it makes the wearer appear thinner and more sophisticated. How the colour black affects us physically and mentally * feeling inconspicuous * a restful emptiness * mysterious evoking a sense of potential and possibility. The colour White White is a neutral colour that has always been associated with purity, innocence and freshness. Most people who wear white cloths are the un-touchable ones and people who are purer in every sense though sometimes people do not literally wear it to depict who there are. Perhaps this is why white is worn by brides as it symbolizes virginity and a new beginning. It also implies sterility and safety and is therefore worn by doctors for its association with healing. Houses also have white picket fences signifying safety. This colour symbolizes fresh beginnings and is supposed to help in clear thinking and purification of thoughts. How the colour white affects us mentally and physically * aids mental clarity * encourages us to clear clutter or obstacles * evokes purification of thoughts or actions * enables fresh beginnings The Colour Red Red is an extremely intense colour that immediately evokes passionate emotions. This colour is associated with the heart and perhaps that is why it symbolizes matters of the heart or love, passion and desire. But since this colour is so intense it also can mean danger and is therefore used in stop signs and lights. This colour is recognized as a stimulant and immediately draws attention. This colour is also associated with enthusiasm and energy and helps in increasing confidence. Pink which is a derivation of this colour symbolizes romance and is considered tranquilizing. Red has more personal associations than any other colour. Recognized as a stimulant red is inherently exciting and the amount of red is directly related to the level of energy perceived. Red draws attention and a keen use of red as an accent can immediately focus attention on a particular element. How the colour red affects us mentally and physically * Increases enthusiasm * Stimulates energy * Encourages action and confidence * A sense of protection from fears and anxiety The colour Blue Blue is among the most popular colours and can be seen generously in nature. Blue is associated with peace and tranquillity. This colour also symbolizes loyalty and is often painted in bedrooms as contact with it makes the human body produce chemicals that have a calming effect. Blue also signifies dependability and commitment along with trustworthiness. The expansiveness and constancy of this colour can be seen from the fact that the sky and the ocean are both blue. It therefore symbolizes serenity and calmness and can evoke a feeling of resting among people. However blue is also sometimes associated with depressing and cold feelings. Electric or brilliant blue colour is dramatic and has an exhilarating effect. Blue is a favourite among many people and is the least gender specific among all the colours. Blue can have a calming effect and is supposed to increase the quality of intuition among people. As the collective colour of the spirit, it invokes rest and can cause the body to produce chemicals that are calming; however not all blues are serene and sedate. Electric or brilliant blues become dynamic and dramatic, an engaging colour that expresses exhilaration. Some shades or the overuse of blue may come across as cold or uncaring. Blue is the least "gender specific" colour, having equal appeal to both men and women. How the colour blue affects us physically and mentally * Calming and sedate * Cooling * Aids intuition The colour Green As soon as someone talks about green the one most common association that everyone can notice is that green is the symbol of nature. It therefore has relaxing qualities. Green also has the meaning of fertility and in many cultures brides wear green. The darker shade of green is considered rather masculine and signifies wealth and a conservative attitude. It also signifies tranquillity and is regarded as a symbol of freshness since the greenery of nature is rather refreshing. Green also means peace and is a symbol of the ecosystem but green is also associated negatively with the feeling of jealousy. Green can be used for relaxation and harmony as well as to heal from depression, nervousness and other physical problems. How the colour green affects us physically and mentally * Soothing * Relaxing mentally as well as physically * Helps alleviate depression, nervousness and anxiety * Offers a sense of renewal, self-control and harmony The colour Yellow Yellow is a colour that easily attracts attention and is regarded as a positive colour. However, it can be rather overpowering and irritating. Yellow can enhance concentration and help increase the speed of the metabolism. It also symbolizes enlightenment, happiness and an optimistic attitude. It also signals towards a positive future and energy along with creativity. This colour can stimulate the nervous system and aid in communication and creativity. Yellow shines with optimism, enlightenment, and happiness. Shades of golden yellow carry the promise of a positive future. Yellow will advance from surrounding colours and instils optimism and energy, as well as spark creative thoughts. How the colour yellow affects us mentally and physically * Mentally stimulating * Stimulates the nervous system * Activates memory * Encourages communication The colour Orange Orange which is a relative of red has a strong positive as well as a negative association. This colour signifies warmth and a lot of energy and can stimulate activity and encourage socialization. Fun and flamboyant orange radiates warmth and energy. Interestingly, some of the tones of orange such as terra cotta, peach or rust have very broad appeal. How the colour orange affects us mentally and physically * Stimulates activity * Stimulates appetite * Encourages socialization The colour Purple This colour is often regarded as the colour that signifies royalty and wealth. It also has a very large feminine appeal to it and is therefore closely associated with romance. It however seems artificial at times. This colour signifies balance and mystical qualities. It can calm the mind and encourage creativity. This dichotomy can cause unrest or uneasiness unless the undertone is clearly defined at which point the purple takes on the characteristics of its undertone. A sense of mystic and royal qualities, purple is a colour often well liked by very creative or eccentric types and is the favourite colour of adolescent girls. How the colour purple affects us mentally and physically * Uplifting * Calming to mind and nerves * Offers a sense of spirituality * Encourages creativity The colour Brown Brown can be seen everywhere in the form of the ground and is an earthy colour thereby implying qualities of dependability. It also symbolizes sadness and wistfulness. Brown can bring about a feeling of connection with everything organic and has a sense of orderliness and stability around it. Brown says stability, reliability, and approachability. It is the colour of our earth and is associated with all things natural or organic. How the colour brown affects us physically and mentally * Feeling of wholesomeness * Stability * Connection with the earth * Offers a sense orderliness The colour Gray Gray is the colour that is most associated with depression of loss. Gray is timeless, practical, and solid. A longstanding favourite suit colour, gray can mix well with any colour. Although well like and often worn, people rarely name gray as a favourite colour possibly because Gray also is associated with loss or depression. How the colour gray affects us physically and mentally * unsettling * expectant When shopping around your clothing you should know which colour to buy and for what reasons. As part of non verbal communication you can communicate to the masses through the colour of your clothes. People should not buy for the sake of buying but should buy for some reasons. We know that there are some colours that are good for women and colours that are good for men. Children also have their special colours be it a baby boy or a baby girl. What is amazing these days is that adults can wear bright colours that are meant for the children which is interesting. This is not a crime because we are living in modern times and culture is not static it is dynamic. When someone is attending some interviews you should ask around the best colours that will not put off the appetite of your prospective employer. Certain professions have certain colours that go along with.

LOVE ISSUES: Winning someone’s heart

Enticing and winning someone’s heart is a torrid task that needs patience and cunning. Human beings are always complex and you have to blend your strategies for someone to yield willingly to your philosophies. You have to smile, you whisper, your wink and pat and spank a bit to trigger the emotions. You have to be a bit of naught but without taking it to the extremes The first phase is to make sure that the person you choose to be with suites all your desire and is genuine. Is he/she really very important to you and can you spend a day or two hours without thinking about the person? How badly do you want his/her loyalty and trust? What are your wishes and how do you feel if you are with the person. Do you feel elated, jolly or you can feel the burden and uncomfortable. It is very important that your desire to be with that someone stems from respect, admiration, and love for that person. That is the only way the person will feel genuine care. For example, does the person advance your knowledge, does the person make you feel good and laugh. What atmosphere do you sense in the present of the person? Is the person an introvert, extrovert what about the selection of words in a conversation? Is the person charming and challenges your mental faculty a bit? If the response is a big YES then that is the person to be with all the time. Again it is important to sense whether the person is stingy or can share the resources with you. Because your gifts have no strings attached to them, you won’t hold a grudge. In the long run, this will show through in your actions so that you would not feel manipulative to the other person. In the “getting attention” example above, you might become pushier and pushier as you don’t get what you want. The other person would start to feel this neediness and wonder what you want from them so badly. Whereas respecting that person would be more along the lines of “Here’s something to help you, don’t trouble yourself to respond”. If you do not actually respect or admire a person, then why would you even want to be near him/her? The only conclusion is that you want something, which means your motivation isn’t genuine care, but something else. This’ll make you go away fairly quickly if the person doesn’t give you what you want as you have no other reason to be around him/her. However, if you actually respect and admire the person, then you would be glad to be around, Therefore, it is important to express your care in ways that the other person understands and appreciates. You need to offer him/her something of value, as perceived by that person, not by you! Any gift no matter how expensive it is, if it is not given to your partner in good spirit it is worthless. You want to make it easy for the other person to be with you. If you are deeply concerned with your other, you seize to be conservative and you give and take what is on offer. In love there is reciprocity what they call “Give and Take’. In a way you both recharge your batteries and leave the vicinity with high voltage of it. You should avoid thinking negatively about the other person, all you do should be for the positive and goodies of both ends. The idea here is to offer the other person something of value, without encroaching on his/her freedoms or time. From time to time, you are saying, “here’s something I thought you might want, feel free have it or not have it”. It should be spontaneously, and you do not attach value that the other person should return to you. If you keep offering things that the other person wants but ask for nothing in return, why wouldn’t they want to be with you? But this should be done by both ends. If that person continually rejects your offers, then take a hint that this is not something he/she wants. A big part of your will is to keep trying to find something despite these failures, because you feel that gaining this person’s trust and loyalty is worth the effort. Be very careful that you are not trying the same thing over and over again, especially if it bothers or angers the other person. Remember that you are trying to continuously offer something the other person wants and to be open and honest with them, not trying to force that person to like what you’re giving! Some people take time to open up and to develop a liking. So move at their pace and do not expedite the process. Also, make sure that you actually do like doing the giving! If you truly feel the other person is worth the effort, then the giving should feel satisfying and sincere. In summary the more you give the higher the chances of winning. Kikikiki1 but this should not be used as a weapon to force someone to relinquish the pride against you. By the way pride should not find place or its way in trying to lure someone heart. Words are very important, and have to be accompanied by action. Be clever enough to sense what should come before the other and how it should be shooed. Otherwise, you’re just entering into a very one sided relationship that is not in your favour! Just remember, give because you want to, not because you want something in return! Sometimes love can be ready in somebody’s eyes, face and body’s posture. Non verbal communication is very important when displaying your endearment feeling towards the other person. Always wear a smile though you are not appealing in the face, but a smile will kill and bury all the tension and cultivate passion and love PLEASE READ AND PASS COMMENTS! YOU CAN EMAIL ME ON masuku.caven@gmail.com or call me in 0773210607